Do you ever feel guilty for feeling scared?
I do sometimes. Sometimes it just feels exhausting to keep my head above water, finding ways to be grateful and focus on the positive, that I stumble into a bad habit of sleeping in until noon in an effort to avoid everything that’s feeling overwhelming. Sometimes I don’t even know that’s the reason why I feel so tired, or just randomly break down in tears…
In my gratitude journal last week I wrote:
“Tue March 24, 2020
Last night I hit a real low. I didn’t get to sleep until 4AM and didn’t get out of bed today until almost 1PM. Once I realized I can’t escape the reality of whats happening, I got up and decided to do my morning routine. I can do something. I can be an example that strength can be found, even on the bad days. We’re not alone. The world is in a refiners fire and collectively we’re all in charge of how long this fire burns. If we give up – we perish, but if we work together – we heal. My contribution may be small – really small – but I have a voice, and I have talents to contribute. I won’t do nothing.”
We all have something to contribute. Now, more than ever, we need each other. The ability to care for another is a talent. We can pick up the phone to call someone, we can write kind notes to a stranger, there are countless ways to contribute to the world right now, a world filled with people who are feeling A LOT of emotions.
I came across a wonderful article the other day that revealed how what we’re all feeling, these nervous feelings, sad feelings, they are a unique combination of grief, 3 kinds to be exact…
“The loss of normalcy; the fear of economic toll; the loss of connection. This is hitting us and we’re grieving. Collectively. We are not used to this kind of collective grief in the air. “
No wonder people are scared, panicking, and getting upset. Those are all symptoms of grief! It was a very validating read, I would highly recommend reading it. The article is from the Harvard Business Review, “That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief“
You may be reading this on Facebook, or here on my new blog. I set up this new site called ‘Be Kind Minds’ last night, a sleepless night, when I answered my question from last week’s journal entry… in what small ways can I contribute? I don’t expect anything big from my efforts, but I can’t do nothing. I won’t do nothing.
How can I help others?
I then thought that it might be nice to have a single source of validating content to read. A safe place to feel, where people don’t have to feel ashamed for feeling… anything. I know what it feels like to feel ashamed for being sad, scared, or angry. Nobody wants to feel those feelings, but if we suppress them, it’s like a vase that has no crack in it, that keeps having all this water poured in and seemingly ignored or avoided, only to one day ultimately spill over and make a huge mess of things!
So before we let our cups overflow, let’s put a crack in our vase and allow all those overwhelming feelings flow through us gradually.
You have permission to feel, anything you need to.
We don’t have to live in those feelings of sadness, fear, or anger… but it’s unhealthy and sometimes dangerous to suppress them and shame ourselves for feeling some very real – unavoidable – feelings. So we feel them, learn about them, take control of what we have control over – and let go of the rest and move forward.
As we move forward we can keep our target in sight of all the good that is around us – because good can always be found. These are some ways that I have been able to keep moving forward, while also allowing myself to be honest with my feelings. These might help you too:
- I do my morning routine, every day, no matter what.
- I have accountability partners, and that helps me tremendously to have someone who I feel compelled to be an “example that strength can be found, even on the bad days”. Because while I may not feel like doing anything, there might be someone I care about who needs help, and I can at least help them in this small way of doing my morning routine.
- I step outside at least once a day to get some sunshine.
- I write down my talents and ask myself, “In what way can I help someone else smile and feel better today?” Sometimes when I’m feeling especially low, it helps me to help other people feel better. I know how it feels, and I don’t want others to have to feel those same feelings alone.
- I can check in on a family member or friend at least once a day.
- Getting ‘need to do’ items completed is so rewarding. Sometimes I need to tackle those first, because some days I get so easily distracted! If I can get at least one task done a day, we’re moving forward!
- I carve out time, every day, to do something that ‘lights me up’. On the depressed days where nothing interests me, not even my artwork, I always love a good bubble bath and TV show to just ‘check out’. But more than that, if I can draw something, or write out my feelings and have someone else tell me that it really helped them to hear that how they’re grateful to not feel alone in their feelings – or have a better understanding of how they’re loved ones feel – that really lights me up!
It’s super important to carve out time every day to do something that you love. Even if you’re feeling depressed or depleted, ask yourself “What would I tell someone I love, in this moment?” I’d probably tell someone I love to treat themselves royal, to a bubble bath and a fun show. 🙂 Everyone can afford at least 20minutes to do some self-care. Even the busiest moms can afford some focused ‘me time’, and sometimes after we have been gentle with ourselves, we end up finding the strength to do a little more of what we love that involves our hobbies and talents.
The intention of Be Kind Minds is to be a safe place first and foremost. A source of validation. Every Monday I’ll have my #MentalHealthMonday post, so there will be new content every Monday here on my blog, and I’ll share it on Facebook too. As I search for ways to help myself and others feel better, and have further understanding of how we can better manage our emotions, I’ll share helpful content and resources on my Be Kind Minds Facebook page; words of inspiration and motivation, informative articles on mental health topics, and awesome expert content as I come across them. I hope this can be helpful to you too. Be Kind Minds will hopefully grow to be a tribe of people helping people. We’re never alone in our feelings. 🙂