I love my plant babies. You could even call me the ‘crazy plant lady’. I have plants in every corner of our home.
Still, yesterday looking around the room I noticed my potted plants. Some had fallen limp and droopy. Others were growing spots on their leaves. Most of my plants are very forgiving. I can easily ‘bring them back from the dead’, and I sincerely appreciate their forgiveness… Other plants of mine are less forgiving… like the other days recently where I’ve noticed their plea for watering, I told myself… “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
Some of my plants are more sensitive, even though they have been advertised by many plant enthusiasts as some of the ‘easiest plants to care for’.
It seems that no matter what I do, I always seem to ‘ruin their life’. I give too much water, or too little water. I don’t get it. 😑🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Why can’t these succulent plants be more like pothos, where no matter what I do or don’t do, they spring right back as soon as I show up with water. Even better, I can put them in any soil type and they will thrive, be it dirt or water!
It would make my life so much easier, especially on the more difficult to function days, if I could just water all of my plants the same, not worry about where I place them – be it directly in the sun or in a room with little to no sunlight… why can’t all plants just thrive wherever we place them, however much we water them or forget to water them (or don’t feel like watering them)… why can’t they all be forgiving of our bad days, weeks, or months?
Do you ever feel the same way?
I made my way downstairs to get something and noticed my indoor veggie garden. With these plants, I have purposely been experimenting with what I can strategically ‘get away with’ and have good enough results.
The plants in the Tower Garden are growing with expired plant food… I wanted to see what results I would get with not as nutrient-dense of food, and the results are not surprising, with more pale leaves… while they may be growing – they’re not thriving as they could with better ‘soil’…
The plants in the grow station are thriving better, and even bearing fruit, but their growth is stunted due to lack of needed space. They’re ‘under stress’ like the others in the tower garden, and they’ve communicated through their appearance what they could use to better thrive.
The Connection Between People & Plants
When I looked at the plants overall, I thought to myself – “Why do I feel a familiar tension about caring for these plants?”
… I then realized, caring for these plants isn’t that different than how we care for those people in our lives who we find some easier to build and maintain relationships with and others more challenging.
How often have parents wished that their application of caring for a child, could work as a template the same for all of their children? Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we could just ‘water them’ all the same, and ‘place them’ wherever we feel they’d ‘look & fit best’?
And why do we find ourselves stumbling into conflicts with some friends where other friends we could say that we never have to worry about saying or doing anything wrong, it just always works out, and we can move on like nothing ever happened. Maybe we neglected them for months, but as soon as we show up [with water], it’s right back to how things were before like no time had passed.
Wouldn’t it be nice if our efforts in building & maintaining relationships were more simple, and all of our relationships could just work out like a pothos plant? All we have to do is just show up with water and they’ll thrive. If we overwater, or underwater, they’ll forgive us and spring back happy and continue to grow – no matter the environment.
If only…
The Life Lesson Nugget
For reasons, sometimes difficult to understand… all plants aren’t the same. Just like not all people are the same, even within a family.
Some require “neglect”, space to decompress and process their emotions, and require less water.
Some require the sun, and others require less sun. Just like some humans need more time outside, more adventure and excitement while others, contrary to the default assumption, actually thrive better with more simple and quieter activities.
My husband Clark and I are complete opposites on our bad days. When he gets stressed or feeling down, he needs out! He needs to surround himself with people and go and do something fun! He’s like an herb plant, he can be content with both outdoor or indoor, but he needs an adequate amount of sun in order to thrive & give happy results for himself and others.
I on the other hand, on my difficult days I need space and quiet. I need to have more control of how much ‘water’ I receive, and I don’t bounce back as easily if ‘watered too much’. I can easily be forgiving if neglected and will bounce back easier, and happier, if left alone for a while before watering. I am a succulent.. and perhaps that is why I get so frustrated with my results in caring for succulent plants… I’m mirroring my own needs in my attempts to show the same love to their type of plant as I do others, and I have a hard time remembering that they are more sensitive [like me] and require a delicate kind of care…
Sometimes those in our life who we are most frustrated with, if in our attempts to nurture and love them are failing… more often than we’d like to admit, they are mirroring something about ourselves that we don’t want to face, and that’s what is frustrating. We’re not listening to their needs, likely because we’re not listening to our own needs.
What We Can Do to Improve
Do you ever feel that you’re expected to be the same as others? React the same way, do the same things, function with the same ‘output’ as others?
Do you ever feel from others that they wish you were a ‘pothos’, and you feel ashamed to be a ‘succulent’?
I hear you.
I’m facing the same lesson about myself, as I know I need to be better at caring for ‘my plants’ in my life. I need to understand that they each have their own needs, as I do, and will thrive if those needs are met. Thankfully, some are more forgiving, they can thrive in any soil… but some will need more space, more time away from my ‘watering’, but at the right time – will happily and warmly welcome watering in the right measurement and time, and will better thrive because of it.
I can be patient.
We can be patient, and there will be a reward if we are willing to learn the needs of those we care for and be willing to meet those needs with an open mind and heart.
And if it comes to it, it may be that the climate we’re in may not be adequate for some to thrive in… they need a different kind of light, a different kind of soil; they require a special type of care we are unable to provide and we should allow them to be replanted in soil and an environment they can thrive in. Our wish should always be for a life we love to thrive to meet its potential. In this act of faith in allowing that to happen, can at times be the greatest gesture of selfless love we could give. Let them be where they need to be, so they can grow to bear fruit.
If you found this article helpful, please feel free to share this link with your friends. 💚 If you have any personal experience feeling shame for being a ‘succulent’, please share in a comment below. Others, like me, can totally relate. 🌱
